The Plights of Posing

I've always had a penchant for trying desperately to emulate the styles and personalities of women I admire. I spent most of my childhood letting my hair grow frizzy, waving a stick and trying to adopt an English accent so that I could somehow resemble Hermione Granger. 

I became more and more sarcastic and bitchy throughout my teens in an attempt to be perceived with the same horror and trepidation that Kat from 10 Things I Hate About You inspired. 

And I spent two years wearing nothing but tartan skirts, t-shirts and doc martens, during my Nana (a popular Japanese manga character) phase. 

So I guess it came as no surprise to my friends and family when, directly after watching Drew Barrymore's directorial debut, Whip It!, a movie about kick-ass roller-derby girls, I bought myself a pair of quad-skates and decided to become a punk-feminist skater. 

Now, this all sounds well and good, but the problem arises when as part of my mimicry, I try to learn an actual skill. I'm naturally relatively clumsy. I went through a period where I fell down in really public places, and grazed my knees like a 12-year-old almost every day. The manager at Impact Comics (the best store in Canberra) got very used to handing me a band-aid whenever I walked into the store. 

I don't know why I ever thought that roller-skating would come naturally to me. Clearly it was extreme wishful thinking. I thought to myself, if Ellen Page can do it, so can I. What I forgot is that Ellen Page is on a whole other planet of cool than I am. I never had a chance. 

As Melissa and I skated out of her house, and onto the sidewalk for the first time (for me, not her, she's already a skating legend. Bitch.*), I could already feel my knees wobbling, and my feet slipping away from under me. In about five minutes, I had my first fall. I landed on my elbow with a sickening thud, but, being the go-getter I am, I crawled back onto my wheels and tried to soldier on. In 30 seconds, I fell again. Onto the same elbow.

Which brings me to today, sitting at home with my elbow broken, forced to have my food cut into bite sized pieces for me, and having to be chauffeured around by my mother (who is totally loving my sudden loss of independence). 

The lesson to be learnt? ALWAYS wear elbow pads when skating. No matter how much they don't go with your outfit. 

- Zoya :)

 * Not really. You all know I love her. Though she *could* have taken me in a wheelbarrow to the emergency room. Just saying. :P

Interested in roller derby? Living in Canberra? Check out the Canberra Roller Derby League, and come to the Halloween bout on the 24th of October!